What does it meant to be an erotic creature? Are males and females equal on the sexual front? Where does social conditioning come from? These and other questions are relevant when we think of human sexuality, which is really just one factor affecting the human erotic sense-ability. The following quote illustrates the true meaning of the word “erotic” as it has been lost in American culture:
“The very word erotic comes from the Greek word eros, the personification of love in all aspects – born of chaos and personifying creative power and harmony.” (Kirk p. 162)
Humans are erotic, spiritual creatures, separate from sexuality. According to this definition, spirituality and eroticism go hand in hand! Indeed, perfect spirituality is perfect love. Eroticism is a personal sense we all have – a sense of what is right for ourselves, of how to love ourselves. It is our personal eroticism that gives us a sense of the truth in life. What feels right to people is according to the individual.
In standpoint theory, knowledge is culturally and invidually situated, according to the individual ‘erotic’ or ‘spiritual’ life of personal edification and validation that a person has. The following quote illustrates the dowsing effect of our own erotic inner sense, and the connection to standpoint theory:
“ ‘It feels right to me’ acknowledges the strength of the erotic into a true knowledge, for what that means is the first and most powerful guiding light towards any understanding.” (Kirk p. 162)
What struck me about the eroticism reading is that we all have a fundamental lively energy that guides our sense of the truth – and that lively energy gets repressed and confined by cultural ideologies. For instance, in Guadalupe the Sex Goddess, one woman’s path of personal sexual guilt and misunderstanding is apparent. Finally, she reclaims the symbolic image of Guadalupe that presented unrealistic expectations of women, and forms a symbol for herself of positive sexuality and motherhood, while also becoming sexually educated. She reclaims this symbol as part of her personal erotic and/or spiritual process as illustrated by the following two quotes:
“She is Guadalupe the sex goddess, a goddess who makes me feel good about my sexual power, my sexual energy” (Kirk p.166)
“My virgin de Guadalupe is not the mother of God. She is God. She is a face for a god, without a face, an indigena for a god without ethnicity, a female deity for a god who is genderless, but I also understand that for her to approach me, for me to finally open the door and accept her, she had to be a woman like me.” (Kirk p. 167)
After finishing today’s readings, I find myself asking, “how can we change things”? I see that there are a lot of problems in our society. For instance, sex is commonly about male pleasure, when it should be about both sexes pleasure. Perhaps two individuals could come to an understanding of that, and be feminist, and lead a more respectful sexual relationship, but there are factors at work. Where does the malformed social conditioning (social gendering) start? For Guadalupe, she cited that her mother told her strange facts, like a woman is allowed to use a tampon once she is married (although they still use pads even then) among other misinformation (her mother taught her to respect the virgin of Guadalupe, an effeminate image probably created by men).
So we can see that a lot of the problem is social conditioning and stereotypes in the article Women's Sexuality, bad facts from parents, and even distorted images perpetuated by society. So the solution would be to do two things: Get some positive female images out there into society, and also, spread correct information about human sexuality, and spread an equal-opportunity perspective for sexual satisfaction. Part of the author of the article’s problem was that the sexual education information available to her was terrible, and she new next to nothing about her own vagina. So education is part of the problem also.
Part of eroticism is proper sexuality – being true to ourselves, our own needs, what our own inner spark of life has to say about our sex life. Life is erotic – it fulfills our deepest longings at times – and sexuality is erotic, because we find some deep meaning in sexuality. What’s important is not just being assertive about our sexual needs in uneven situations, but counteracting the cultural ideologies that prevent us from being safe sexually (ideas like “men don’t like condoms” and “STDs are inevitable”) and/or prevent us from being fully sexually, and erotically, satisfied.
The main point of the article If It's Not On, It's Not On was that it’s not lack of assertiveness that tends to create health and sexual displeasure risks, it’s the systematic ideas that are perpetuated about healthy sexuality – mainly that women are perfunctory and that male pleasure is central, cause women to marginalize their own feelings about personal health and sexual pleasure. What society needs is better, clearer education, and also classes like I am taking now: women’s awareness. Imagine a world where everyone had taken women’s studies 101, it would be a different world, a sexually and erotically educated world.
Finally, can sex be non-erotic? If it’s not deeply fulfilling and validating to the spark of inner being of those involved, if it’s not a life-affirming experience, it’s not erotic, it’s just sex. Pornography is recorded sexuality without eroticism – no one is having their feelings validated, no one (except the men perhaps) feel good about what they are doing. I feel this quote adds dimension to our established definition of the erotic, and as I finish with it, think to yourself, “in what ways do I suppress my true feelings in favor of popular ideologies or acceptance? In what ways do I have sensation without feeling?” Probably, you can think of times in your inner life when there has been a separation of church and state, per se. The quote is as follows:
“… Pornography is a direct denial of the power of the erotic, for it represents the suppression of true feeling. Pornography emphasizes sensation without feeling.”
Eroticism at its best is sensation and feeling together under the roof of self-love. For women in a patriarchal society that is especially important. However, it’s something we can all aspire to.
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